Wow! where does one start when beginning a blog? I guess this is where I tell my story, and I’m gonna lay it all out, so if you aren’t into longwinded posts, then you might want to skip this. If you want all the juicy stuff, then settle back with a diet soda lol cuz here it goes….
I wasn’t always overweight, I graduated high school weighing 118 lbs soaking wet. I was head over heels in love with my high school sweetheard and could see nothing in my future but getting married, the white picket fence, 2 kids and a dog. So 7 months after graduating from high school, I got married. Lot’s of boring details herethat I will skip, by the time I got pregnant with my first child I weighed about 130. Gained a whopping 80lbs with that pregnancy and 6 months after delivery, I was pregnant with baby #2. I walked out of the hospital after delivery that time weighing 210. Wow! I can remember before kids when I was trying on a pair of jeans that were a size 9, they were kind of snug and my friend said I should just try on a size 11. I remember telling her that I would “never wear a size 11.” Lol, I would kill for that now. Anyways… we had the usual struggles of a young couple, broke, with 2 small children. I never seemed to be able to get the weight off after the babies, tried weight watchers with moderate success, but it always creeped back on. I can distinctly remember the exact words my husband said when he told me one night that although he loved me, he was not IN love with me anymore, didn’t find me physically attractive. Yeah…that kinda sucked. But, you know, keep your chin up and act like everything is okay, and it will be. Then my whole world turned upside down……
11 months after my youngest son was born, my father who was 61 years old, dropped dead of a heart attack in the local grocery store. As a family, we were so devastated, he was such a wonderful, kind, caring man and I loved him so deeply. I had 3 sisters and 1 brother, and we tried to be strong and be there for my mother, who was so very sad. More stress….more eating. 3 years later, my oldest sister died from leukemia, I was the match for the bone marrow transplant and happily donated, but it just didn’t work. She left behind a husband and 2 children. More stress…..more eating. 3 years after my sister Suzi died, another sister became ill with something called myelodysplastic syndrome. It is another blood cancer and is somewhat similar to leukemia. This sister was not married, and the nearest hospital that offered the treatment she needed was in Oklahoma City, which was 3 hours away. I burned up the highways going back and forth, trying to take care of my my own family and sitting at my sister’s bedside. 9 blurry months later, I was there, holding her hand when she passed. The look on my mother’s face is forever burned into my head. More stress…..more eating. Believe it or not, 3 years after my sister Kris died, my last sister also became ill with the same. She lived in Atlanta, Georgia and her two children came to live with us while she was sick, allowing her husband to care for her as much as he could. She too lived 9 months after she was diagnosed. More stress….more eating. Ok, I realize there is no way I have any readers left at this point. So much has happened, food was my one comfort - unconditional love, didn’t ask anything of me and it made me feel good. We became best friends. I ballooned up to my highest weight, which was 308. I was wife, mother, aunt, nurse….everyone wanted a piece of me and I didn’t seem to know the word “no.” And that included saying no to overeating. More happened…..the business my husband built burned to the ground one night, we tried to rebuild, but it was a no go. He lost his spirit and a separation had taken place between us over the last few years when I was taking care of everyone else and not our marriage. He turned elsewhere for comfort and found it, lol. Currently lives in another town with his girlfriend. I was left to get our oldest son, who by the way dropped the bombshell that he was gay on us, off to college. This fall, my youngest goes to college and I will be home alone.
So I find myself in unfamiliar territory. Kids are grown. I have a great career. And I can do anything I want to! Great timing…….now that I have wrecked my body, I have the world at my doorstep! How is that for irony? I have spent the last few months on the couch with a box of kleenex, but not anymore. I am ready to start over! I want to be healthy, feel good! I want to do and see everything! I have tried many diets over the years, none ever stuck. I figure if I am not careful, I will be diabetic before long. So that got me thinking……..and so 3 days ago, I put myself on a 1500 cal diet, similar to a diabetic diet. It hasn’t been easy, but eating six times a day does help. I have alot to lose, My current weight is 268. I apologize for listing my initial weight as 280 because that’s what it was the last time I dared to get on a scale. When I weighted myself the last few days, I didn’t believe it was really 268, but apparently it is. My ultimate goal is more about feeling healthy than it is about numbers. I know I will never weigh 118 again, and I don’t really want to. I would be happy somewhere in the neighborhood of 145-150. I think that would be a good healthy weight for me. My plan? Get used to this new way of eating first, then add in some exercise. I was doing water aerobics for a while and really loved it. Who knew you could sweat while you were in the water? lol
So, that’s it. That’s my story. Now that I have just vomited all of my personal baggage all over those of you who hung in there long enough to read it all (thank you ), I am ready to put my past behind me and start this new life! I am looking forward to making some good friends on this site and am so ecstatic that I found it, it is soooo awesome! Here’s to you, all my new friends! And here’s to all of us getting healthy!
Kathy
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